Stacking Play Dates

I think I've noticed a new trend.

It's about play dates. 

I've always arranged a play date with mothers and their children and my children. I did this first with my son, Jay, who is now a teenager. And now I'm repeating it with my daughter, Mimi, who is seven.

Only of late I notice that when I schedule what I think is a several hour long play date -- it turns out to be much shorter because the other mother has scheduled a play date with another child either before or after my daughter's!

I'm already familiar with stacking children's activities. Sometimes that is a bit much. Basketball, followed by swimming or taekwondo. 

But play dates? 

Two in one day? Is this for the child? Or is this for the mother? A feeling of "popularity" is pungent. 

I find stacking play dates to be in bad taste. If I schedule a play date for my daughter I expect it to be just that. I find that when she learns that her friend is having another play date with a different child that same day then her feelings are hurt. 

If she is asked for two play dates in the same day I simple schedule one for one day and one for the other. 

Sometimes I wonder if parents replay through their children what they themselves did not have in their early lives: the need to have lots of friends. But are they really friends for the children or for the mothers? 

What are kids learning when their parents don't teach their children good manners such as, 'we don't mention your other play date because it might hurt your uninvited friend's feelings.' 

Stacking play dates is so dot.com nineties. It's the "I'm so busy" routine. Parents are beginning to brag about the number of play dates their kids have -- not just per week, but per day!

Somebody, please, make this stop. Put an end to it. Now! This is very dangerous territory. Mothers, don't think twice -- in the same day, that is.

There is always tomorrow.

By Dawn Yun